Over the 4th of July holiday weekend I went out of town with my fiancé, his mom and our two boys for a softball tournament. On Sunday before coming home we decided to take the boys to Kings Island. The overall trip was great and everyone had such a fun day. As I've gotten older I realize it's more fun to watch my kids have fun riding rides than it is when I do.
My fiancé's son wanted me to ride The Racer with him. We waited in line maybe ten minutes before our turn. I did worry about my weight and size some during the day with a couple of rides. And this next statement I'm about to say is by no means judgmental. I have no room to talk! The majority of the people I saw at the park were overweight, some very obese and I wondered if they were having any fun. There were a few I saw and thought there was no way they were fitting on most rides, if any of them at all.
Trust me I realize my thinking was wrong and I honestly wasn't trying to be judgmental because I'm in the same boat as they are. But I didn't really realize just how big I was until yesterday.
So back to The Racer, when I got in the car I was too wide to sit in the seats comfortably. I thought oh boy this ride is going to be uncomfortable. I got the seatbelt fastened, but I couldn't get the bar to click close. The girl checking the seats came and said we just need two clicks. She pushed down and we got one click. We tried and tried to get a second and couldn't. I was humiliated! I left in a hurry and started crying once on the exit ramp. I honestly didn't think I was that big, but apparently I was.
I told my fiancé about it. And he assured me I was fine and he thought I was sexy. That's great. I'm lucky. But when I don't feel sexy there's a problem. When I feel disgusted with myself and humiliated because I'm too fat to ride a rollercoaster then you know you need to change things.
My fiancé wanted us to ride a rollercoaster together. I was hesitant but I said okay let's ride Diamond Back. At the front of the line is a seat you have to test out before going forward. I said no way I'm not even trying. That's embarrassing and I know I won't fit. So we went to The Beast. Got in the seat and it was tight. I told Jeremy (fiancé) I'm too fat for this ride too. It took him and an another guy pushing down to get two clicks. It was so tight against me it hurt so badly that I cried during most of the ride.
I believe that was the most embarrassing situation of my life. And Jeremy is so sweet and caring about it. He kept assuring me I was beautiful and he loved me and my body. And that really helps and I know he's trying to help me feel better.
My goal: next year when I go to Kings Island I don't want it to ever cross my mind that I might be too big to ride any of the rides!